Fake it ’til you make it cure

People often suffer from social anxiety, shyness or just not feeling confident in social situations. This is when I like to use what I affectionately call my “fake it ‘til you make it cure.” Basically it involves thinking of someone you know of, who possesses the quality you wish you had.  For example, you may wish you were more confident or less shy in social situations like your friend Kim.  The next time you go into a social situation, pretend like you are Kim.  Now I don’t mean walk up to people and say, “Hi my name is Kim!” You are still you, you just have the social confidence of Kim.  So be like you would be if you had the kind of social confidence Kim has.  Soon you will notice that people view you as being this way and it will feed on itself and strengthen your confidence.  If you practice this enough, soon you will realize you have actually started doing it naturally and you have taught yourself to be less shy or more socially confident.

Please don’t misunderstand.  I am not telling you to be fake.  I am telling you to pull out a quality that you likely have more of than you think!

This works with many other things too.  If you find yourself thinking you wish you were more brave or talkative or assertive -anything-pick someone who you admire for this trait and then practice being more like that person.  It requires effort and practice-but it works!

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended as a substitute for psychological or psychiatric care.  If you have a condition requiring treatment, please seek appropriate care from a qualified professional.

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