Welcome!
Being in a long-term committed relationship is not always easy.
As I have often said, we don’t get trained or licensed to be in a committed relationship and yet it is one of the most important jobs we do.
Obviously people usually seek therapy when their relationship is in crisis. That is not always as bad as it sounds. People are usually most motivated at these times to work on their relationship.
The first thing that needs to be established is that both people are willing to make the changes necessary to make the relationship work. This is not as simple as it sounds. Coming to couples therapy does not always indicate a willingness to change. Sometimes one member of the couple is coming because they feel obligated, or feel they have to be able to say they “tried therapy” to save the relationship, but they are not necessarily showing up with the willingness to work on the relationship.
Often one member of the couple (or both) come to treatment because they think the other person needs to change. In my experience, even though many people recognize both people may need to change, it is often easier to focus on what the other person needs to do, than what we need to do.
Obviously if at least one member of the couple is not willing to do the work, the next question, whether each member is capable of making the changes necessary to make the relationship work may become irrelevant to the current relationship. (However it may be important for any future relationship.) This second question, as to whether each member of the couple is capable of making the changes necessary to make the relationship work, can be fairly complex, depending on the issues.
In couples therapy, I work to establish the answer to both these questions while I am uncovering and addressing the issues the couple is struggling with and while working with them on more effective communication.
Since each member of the couple comes to the relationship with their own history, “baggage” and issues, it is sometimes important to address these issues as part of the couples treatment (or separate from it).
It comes as no surprise that often couples trigger each other’s individual issues. I work with couples to identify the issues and the patterns that are not working for them, and help them to come to a better understanding and/or acceptance of what each of them needs to do for themselves and for their partner.
Read my Blog for more on Couples Therapy – Marriage Counseling – Relationship Therapy:
- How to communicate more effectively: “I don’t speak whinese!”
- Carrying the anxiety ball and the relationship seesaw
- Making Changes- The ingredients of Change
- Letting Go
As an experienced Psychologist located in Scottsdale, Arizona, I look forward to meeting and working with you. I hope you’ll find the information you are searching for about the services I provide. I intentionally keep my practice small, so that I can give people individual attention and a more personalized experience.
I enjoy working with children, adults, couples and families. I believe I can help provide people the relationship therapy, education and training they need to be more successful in these areas and others.
Services:
- Individual Therapy or Counseling
- Couples Therapy – Marriage Counseling – Relationship Therapy
- Trauma Therapy and EMDR
- Counseling for Teenagers – Adolescents
- Family Therapy
- Therapy Related to Divorce
- Parenting Therapy and Parent Guidance
- Child Therapy or Counseling
To schedule an appointment complete the form or call us at the number below.
Download the Intake Packet here: New Patient Forms. Requires Adobe Acrobat Reader
Our address:
Bettina Lehnert, Ph.D., PLLC
10149 N. 92nd St., Suite 103
Scottsdale, AZ 85258
Office 480.285.7011
Fax 480.767.1730
Email: drbettina@cox.net
Scroll down to see a map of the area. Or visit Google Maps for directions to my office
[wpgmza id=”1″]